Complete: Badass
by dippychibi124
Summary: We all know that Ichigo had used the Final Getsuga Tenshō against Aizen and subsequently lost his Shinigami powers because of this... But what would happen if he simply did not learn this move, and instead bested him using a different method? Read to find out - Highly crack-filled, and not meant to be taken seriously - Pairing: NellxIchigoxMomo Rated M for lemons and other scenes.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **We haven't, we don't, and we will never own Bleach... Despite how sad that may be :'(

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**Chapter 1 – Enter: Badass**

"Ichigo; calm down, and focus – or else you'll never defeat me!"

"I know that dammit!"

"Then calm down, stop swearing, and come at me with all that you've got; ICHIGO!"

"SHUT UP DAMMIT!"

*clink*

"I SAID STOP SWEARING!"

"I DIDN'T SWEAR, DAMMIT!"

*sigh*

Currently two people of varied descriptions were facing off in what appeared to be a fight to the death. One; the picture of serenity and calm behaviour, shook his head slightly as he stood on one of the numerous submerged buildings below him. The other growled in obvious agitation at his lack of progress in the fight… The fact that his opponent was blatantly ignoring him, only served to increase his ire that much farther. Narrowing his eyes, he rushed forward in an attempt to over-turn this completely one-sided struggle. Tensa Zangetsu mirrored his comrade's reaction before their swords clashed together in an explosion that rocked the surrounding area. Wiping some excess debris from his face and hair, the Zanpaktou spirit took a few steps back before sizing up his wielder.

'_We have been in here at least three months already… and no matter how much he may want this… I think that this is one thing that we can't succeed in…'_

Looking around, he could see the signs of cracks on the very foundation of this reality. He grit his teeth together as he prepared to speak, in obvious regret… but slight happiness.

"Ichigo… I think that something needs to be brought to your attention."

Said orange-haired male stopped panting and looked over to his weapons' spirit, on the building adjacent to the one he was on. He cocked his head to the side in an expression of confusion and interest, prompting the apparition to continue.

"We… have unfortunately run out of time."

Huh… Well that's… WAIT.

"WHAT?"

Tensa Zangetsu merely sighed before running a hand through his long hair and turning back to his current student; a dispassionate look upon his face.

"I do not believe that I stuttered… but for your sake I shall repeat myself one last time…"

Time seemed to slow for Ichigo as he clung onto the last of the spirits' words.

"… We have no more time left; if you do not leave as soon as possible, your father, and in turn us – will not make it, and Aizen will win the war."

Ichigo couldn't believe what he had just heard. Looking down at the crumbling ground, his hands trembled in anxiety. He failed… He really wouldn't be able to do anything… And he failed because he ran out of time? Not even by an epic final sword-clash or something? That's so… anti-climactic.

"I failed? No… this is just… so fucking lame…"

"No – you did not fail… not completely…"

The young teenager looked up in obvious shock at the proclamation. Had he really not failed? Could he still get the Final Getsuga Tenshou-?

"And no; you do not have enough time left to learn that accursed move… instead; I am going to teach you a variation of the final form."

Ichigo's brow rose in interest before he slowly nodded in agreement to the proposition.

"Alright then; let's hurry this up then – what do I need to do?"

Tensa Zangetsu nodded before doing something that shocked Ichigo to the very core:

He smirked.

"Ok then… So this is what you do…"

Ichigo waited for the spirit to continue for a good minute or so, before growling and dove at him; sending him into the ground. Getting up, the black-haired man gained a tick mark before yelling at the sky above him, claiming that something was supposed to happen when he trailed off. Ichigo merely backed away slowly from the man that looked to be going through a seizure.

(A/N: I suppose that was my cue, *narrowly dodges thrown Zanpaktou*, to change the scene.)

The sky over Karakura Town was as clear as the streets were empty. Looking over impassively at his former subordinates' unconscious body, Aizen struck a haughty pose, ignoring the sobbing of the buxom beauty behind him, and the shocked expressions of those few spiritually aware figures nearest to him. He smirked before looking up to the sky.

It felt good to be king- *CRASH*

A loud sound suddenly broke the oppressive silence that had settled over the area. Turning his head slightly to the right, he noticed a certain orange-haired figure supporting a semi-conscious black-haired man on his shoulder. Following his line of sight, Aizen narrowed his eyes as he noticed that the teenager was looking at Gin's barely conscious body. Deciding to diffuse the situation; civilly, as only Aizen knows how, he smirked before beginning his monologue.

"Kurosaki Ichigo… I must say that I am rather disappointed in you… I can no longer sense your reiatsu; meaning that you must have discarded it for one reason or another... A pointless move really because-"

He was interrupted as Ichigo, his father in-tow, seemed to merely teleport behind him, and towards the injured ex-captain. Looking down at Matsumoto's face with the same blank stare, Ichigo nodded towards his dad who nodded back, and picked up the fox-faced man. Rangiku, normally in this situation would snap at someone for attempting to pick up her 'near-comatose' friend, but a quick explanation from Isshin about his clinic promptly shut her up as she began to help lift Gin back onto his feet.

Feeling severely pissed off for being ignored earlier, and for being treated as if he wasn't even there; Aizen narrowed his eyes before lunging forward at the group who had the 'audacity' to ignore him.

Not even looking in the direction of the attack, Ichigo parried the incoming sword with his own, and turned slowly; with obvious precision as he did so. Aizen's eyes widened in obvious shock at how easily he was deflected, before narrowing them again and jumping backwards to regain his bearings.

Rangiku gulped slightly at the casual way that Ichigo had stopped the incoming strike, before motioning for Tatsuki and the rest of the spiritually aware bystanders to follow them towards the clinic.

It was at this point that Ichigo finally turned around and gave Aizen his full attention.

"Aizen… there are too many people here that could get hurt… let's move our fight someplace else."

Despite the slight inkling in his mind, that he was in deep shit right now, he forced his cocky smirk back onto his face and spoke; any hesitation that he felt previously, no longer present.

"Such a foolish question, from an equally foolish Substitute Shinigami… but do not worry; Karakura Town shall be left alone for now-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence as a hand was suddenly latched forcefully onto his face, and he was sent soaring through the air. His eyes widened for the second time since he re-encountered the orange-haired enigma of a Shinigami.

'_Bakana!'_

A shock-wave later and he found himself eating dirt from the outskirts of Rukongai. Calming himself down, he wiped debris from his face as he looked over to his opponent. Seizing up the situation, he looked over at his opposition. Seeing the passive look on his face, that he had worn not five minutes previously, sent shivers down his spine… and to put it bluntly;

It was fucking pissing him off.

"So Kurosaki Ichigo… I think that I understand; you seem to have given away your reiatsu for an incredible increase in both physical strength and stamina… Whilst the results shown, are impressive; you will learn soon enough, that they are not enough to defeat me."

Said orange-haired Shinigami merely opted to standing there, and saying nothing; his eyes boring a hole through his opponent. Aizen 'tsked' at the lack of response before rushing forward and attacking the stagnant teenager, who calmly deflected the blow one-handed.

The fight continued on in a never-ending stalemate for quite some time; before Aizen pushed Ichigo back onto the side of a cliff, feeling no resistance to this action whatsoever.

Jumping back a few feet, the madman began cackling loudly as he raised his finger to the sky.

_"Seeping crest of turbidity! Arrogant vessel of lunacy! Boil forth and deny! Grow numb and flicker! Disrupt sleep! Crawling queen of iron! Eternally self-destructing doll of mud! Unite! Repulse! Fill with soil and know your own powerlessness!"_

A black box with large swords of the same color and texture began to seemingly form out of nowhere around the orange-haired teenager; who stared back at his opponent blankly.

Aizen finished the chant.

"Hadō number 90: Kurohitsugi!"

As the black box finished hiding the young teenager from sight, Aizen smirked confidently at his creation. A shattering noise via the 'captured' human's arm quickly destroyed his cockiness.

Looking up in shock; it was truly only now that Aizen got a good look at his opponents overall image.

What he saw left his mouth dry.

'_The lack of emotions; the long hair; the unnecessary chains and ripped sleeve, and that 6-pack… My God, he's done it…'_

His eyes widened for the third time in the past scuffle.

'_He's managed to enter the final form of a Shinigami… A form only available to those who have transcended everyone around them, and become in a league all of their own; the one form I could never achieve, even when I got this far…'_

He couldn't say anything as Ichigo raised his sword in an obviously threatening manner.

'_The form: "Complete: Badass"…'_

"Ikuse, Aizen…"

A sword-slash later and Aizen was on the ground in a pile of his own blood; his eyes wide in complete shock.

_'That's... Impossible... I- I didn't even see him move...'_

Coughing for a good few seconds, he forced himself back on his feet, and wiped his mouth free of the red liquid that was seeping from his mouth.

Looking over at his opponent; he forced any doubt that he was feeling out of his voice, and did his best to try and regain control of the situation.

"Kurosaki Ichigo… I am not sure how you managed to get this form… however…"

He raised his hands to the sky and began cackling loudly as his skin began peeling away in a mountain of blood.

"IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE TO ME!"

Ichigo made no visible reaction to the grotesque form of the ex-captain in front of him. Jumping with speed capable of breaking the sound barrier, he suddenly appeared straight in front of the beasts' face.

As Aizen attempted to open his mouth to say something, Ichigo mouthed two syllables that never registered to anyone else but the person in front of him; whose eyes widened in shock.

"Getsuga Tenshō."

The heavens themselves opened up as the piercing fang directly sliced through his opponent's face and splitting him in two.

Landing on the ground to the right of the crash zone, Ichigo narrowed his eyes as he looked over at the barely-conscious form of Aizen. Noting that he looked like he had before he had ascended the rest of the Shinigami; he narrowed his eyes very slightly.

Looking up from his place on the ground, Aizen growled out in anger just before a voice interrupted his to-be-monologue.

"Ara ara, Aizen-san… I do believe that this match as good as over."

The incomer tipped the white and green stripped hat on top of his head to shadow his eyes, before looking towards the brown-haired man in question.

"… Don't you agree…?"

The brown-haired man tried once again to speak up, before a large number of red crosses appeared out of nowhere; piercing Aizen in the back who fell forward, heaving loudly.

"What… What the hell did you do to me, URAHARA KISUKE-"

He was quickly sealed without truly knowing what happened or why he had lost so suddenly.

Feeling his strength give way, Ichigo sighed a deep breath before he felt his emotions come back to him. Urahara looked over to the orange-haired boy before taking the hat off his head and giving him a pitying look.

"Kurosaki-san… Do you know how much longer you have until your reiatsu goes away? I'm surprised that it hasn't left already, all things considered..."

Ichigo looked up to the sky impassively, as he responded.

"My reiatsu is staying, Urahara-san… This form may be leaving, and I don't know if I will truly be able to access it again; but my reiatsu will not change."

Urahara's eyes widened in complete shock as he lost grip of his hat and it trailed to the ground.

"Wha-what do you mean, Kurosaki-san? Didn't you use 'the Final Getsuga Tenshō'?"

Ichigo smiled slightly as the chains and other remnants of his ultimate form faded away; his facial features becoming noticeably softer.

"Nope; instead, I entered, what is apparently the ultimate form of the Shinigami that the Soul King himself was the only one to master…"

If Urahara had learned one thing about the young carrot-top during the past six months of craziness; it would be the fact that he should never be surprised when he pulls off the impossible.

Wetting his dry lips, he spoke.

"Do… do you mean that you managed to access the form; 'Complete: Badass', the one that is said to be the most ancient of all abilities? The one that nobody, save for the soul king, truly seems to know about?"

Ichigo nodded towards him in response before looking down at his scarred hand.

"Yeah… It's a form that gives unparalleled speed, dexterity, and overall power; in exchange for the inability to access it again; and a temporary lack of emotions… Thereby – what you are feeling now… or actually probably not feeling, is half of what my reiatsu was whilst I was fighting Aizen."

Urahara had already long-since passed the sense of caring whether or not he should be shocked about Ichigo's development cycle; and simply stared with his jaw unhinged, as the last of the teenager's final form faded away.

Ichigo smiled awkwardly at the expression from the older man; before suddenly a sound to the right of them alerted the duo to the opening of a Garganta. Looking towards it, they saw a group of five humanoid figures walk through it.

Closing shortly after them; Orihime, Uryuu, Chad, Rukia, and Renji all walked towards their orange-haired friend before they stopped short and stared.

The same thought went through all of their heads.

"He's so HOT!"

Four of the newly appeared teenagers all looked towards Uryuu in silent shock as he coughed and pushed up his glasses. Ichigo went slack-jawed at the comment, whilst Urahara was still staring at Ichigo as if he had grown a second head.

A loud shout from behind of Orihime; quickly alerted the group as to another person in the vicinity.

"ITSYGOOOOO!"

All of a sudden Ichigo was knocked off his feet and sent tumbling to the ground on his back, by a small green-haired girl with a mask… Very painfully, might I add.

Looking down, his face showed surprise at the appearance of the child-like arrancar. Feeling his chest getting wet from tears, (and unfortunately snot), he couldn't help but smile tenderly at the small girl, before rubbing her head; leaving all questions for later.

"Shhhhh… it's okay, Nel; don't worry, I'm going to be just fine."

She looked up at his kind face, and stopped crying; wiping away her tears, as well as sniffing back up her snot, before nodding and getting up. Smiling at him, she jumped up on his shoulder and sat there as he got used to the new weight on his right arm.

Sighing, he turned to the rest of his friends, before smiling slightly.

"Well guys – I think that the war's finally done; we can go home now-"

A hell butterfly addressed to Rukia suddenly appeared to interrupt Ichigo's train of thought as he waited for her to read the message.

Nodding towards the small creature, she turned towards her closest friend; and spoke.

"The Captains would like an audience with you a week from now Ichigo; this is not negotiable."

Ichigo stared at her for a few seconds blankly; whilst pointedly ignoring Nel's attempts to get his attention. This was obviously a wrong move on his part, as she quickly got off his shoulder and dove head-first into his stomach; promptly knocking the wind out of him, and causing his already weakened body to go limp from fatigue. The day's events finally catching up to him; he couldn't stay conscious from the super-powered head-butt, and so he fell backwards in pain. Feeling unconsciousness settling in, and realizing how much of a mess he may have to clean up with the Gotei 13 after this; he could only utter one phrase before blacking out.

"Well… shit."

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Hey everyone! :D - I'm going to try not to waste your guys's time with a long Author's Note or whatever, but there are just some things that I'd like to get out of the way, and so maybe some of your questions that you may have might be answered here :). (Most chapters won't have A/N's this long, don't worry)

1\. This story is a joint effort between the two fanfiction writers 'Dippytrippy122' (aka; the one who's writing this author's note), and 'ChocoChibi456'. I will be the one who writes the chapters, whilst Chibi on the other hand; will beta them, and help by writing parts where I am unsure of how to continue, making this a very-joint effort on our part.

2\. Yes, the story is going to be very cracky-filled, and will get much funnier later on (this first chapter was more of an introduction to what the story will look like XD :D). Due to the crack-filled nature of this story, there will be little drama involved due to the fact that too much of that could cause the story to no longer be funny :3, and no one wants that. :D

3\. In terms of updating schedule… we won't promise anything, because we just aren't sure yet xD - if anyone out there who is reading this, knows of our actual accounts, (which would be pretty awesome :3 :D), then you probably know that the both of us are fairly lazy authors who just can't get off our asses and write regularly no matter how hard we try… However with this two-person set-up, I am able to write much easier than I would otherwise; since I'm able to, not only bounce my ideas off of someone, but I also finally have someone who can beta-read my shit and help fill in gaps when I get writer's block XD.

4\. Yes, the story is M-rated, which may seem extreme for something like this; however, since we are both perverts (andddd because chibi over here, wants to write a lemon(s), later on, yeah… XD), plus just random scene's and language will probably push it over the top so yeah :3.

5\. Finallyyyyy, pls pls pls review :3 - We appreciate it a ton when you favorite our story, this account, or our regular accounts xD, but we would enjoy reviews that much more - anything from just a couple of words of encouragement to strong, but accurate; constructive criticism would be appreciated… but keep in mind that any pointless flamers WILL be ignored, especially if they are complaining about the story being too stupid in plot, or something like that… that is not something that can be changed obviously xD - that's the whole point of the story - it is SUPPOSED to be stupid, and cracky, so if you don't like that… then don't read it - simple as that :3 :D :)

So that's all… Dippytrippy122 (and ChocoChibi456 X3), signing off :3


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** No, in the past week; we unfortunately did not receive the rights to Bleach, all its characters, and the like :'(

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**Chapter 2 – A Captain's Symbol**

"Nell-chan… I think that you may have hit him too hard…" (No shit.)

The green-haired girl in question fell down to her knees in over-exaggerated anguish.

"NELL IS SOWWY – ITSYGOO DON'T DIEEEEE PLEASEEEEEEE-"

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP?"

The small arrancar instantly stopped crying at the sudden shout from the downed vizard; watching as he suddenly grabbed his abdomen in pain, from yelling so suddenly. The group instantly was by his side as he stopped to catch his breath before taking in his surroundings for a second. Realizing where he was, he turned back to the concerned looks of the group of friends and spoke.

"Is this Urahara-san's shop? Why am I here?"

As if on cue, (and let's be honest; he probably planned it that way), the shoji door to the small room slid open, and the owner of the shop walked in.

Cane intact, he turned towards the orange-haired teenager and spoke jovially; fan in front of his face.

"Ara ara, Kurosaki-san; do you not remember how your small Arrancar friend here, managed to knock you out with just a head-butt? It was quite embarrassing really." Oh, was he ever enjoying this.

Ichigo blinked for a second before hanging his head in resignation. He had managed to beat Aizen without breaking a sweat, but the moment that he thought it was over; Nell, in her child form, had managed to knock him out.

Looking up; he scowled at the grin that Urahara was wearing as bright as day on his face.

Yep, this officially sucked.

Doing a complete 180 on the situation, however; Urahara lifted his hat slightly and spoke, in a deathly serious tone, that he used vary rarely.

"So then… Kurosaki-san, if you are feeling up to it; would you mind going for a walk with me? Alone, that is?"

Even though Ichigo knew full well what the older man meant with that look in his eye, he couldn't help but grab the opportunity by its ass and reign it in. (…Or an even better analogy than that).

Smirking, Ichigo crossed his arms and attempted to look disgusted.

"Well Urahara-san, I didn't know that you swung that way; how bold!"

The blonde-haired man lost his footing for just a second before he began coughing loudly into his fist; steaming as everyone else present laughed at him. Ichigo joined in for a while before shaking his head slightly; knocking the kinks out of his neck and standing up.

Looking towards the older man; his previous joking demeanor now gone, he nodded silently before he began leaving the room with him.

Of course, he forgot about one _small _detail.

"ITSYGOOOO DON'T LEAVE NELLLL!"

Barely dodging another high-speed head-butt, he sighed at the collapsed form of the small hollow-girl before walking over to her prone and crying form and pulling her into a slight hug.

Everyone around looked at him; obviously shocked at the fact that he was showing any level of compassion at all. He just scowled back.

Looking down at the crying girl; he spoke as softly as he could.

"Nell, look, it's okay; I'll be back in a bit, and nothing will happen to me – Aizen is gone, and nothing is going to hurt me, okay?"

Her sobbing stopped shortly after the calming words were spoken. Looking up, and sniffling slightly, she wiped her eyes clean of tears before speaking.

"Do you pwomise?"

He nodded his head silently at her question, causing her to smile widely and nod back. Jumping off of his now wet gi, she ran over to the rest of the group, letting him walk over to Urahara.

Tipping his hat off to the confused group of friends, the blonde haired man smiled.

"Well then, we will be off now. Do take good care of our little Arrancar friend here whilst we are gone, won't you?"

They all nodded dumbly, unable to come up with a response to the two Shinigami. Stepping into his body that had been propped against the wall in the entry-way, Ichigo breathed a sigh of relief before nodding over to Urahara who grinned back; the both of them walking out of the house.

Silence ensued back at the shop.

Looking up to the sky, the normally silent giant spoke up for the rest of the group.

"… We've been completely ignored; haven't we?"

The rest merely nodded at Chad's question before they all collectively sighed.

* * *

The park looked quite nice this time of day, Ichigo noted, as he and his old mentor walked through the public area. It wasn't long after this that the blonde haired man in front of him stopped walking and sat down on a park bench, not far from the entrance that they had just come in from.

Motioning to the seat next to him, Urahara took off his hat; placing it on the table, and turned to face his younger companion.

"Ichigo… I believe that there are a great many things that we need to discuss following the aftermath of the war… And not only as your old teacher, but as, what I would consider to be; your friend, I would like to ask that you hear me out."

The carrot-top, for his part, was quite stunned by the proclamation. He knew that the man sitting next to him was a close ally of his, for sure; but to actually be called his friend, was something that he did not expect the older man to do.

However, the usage of his first name, and without the usual respectful honorific; told him that the older man was being serious, and so with a grateful smile, Ichigo nodded back.

Pulling out a small piece of paper from nowhere, Urahara began drawing some symbols with an unreadable expression on his face. Curiosity getting the better of him, Ichigo looked over to try and understand what was being drawn, only for the ex-captain to explain anyway.

"This right here", he said pointing to the strange-looking shape in the middle of the page "is the captain's symbol that signifies you as being one of the strongest of the Gotei 13."

Ichigo nodded at that; as it was the one thing on the page that he knew right off – he had clashed with enough captains in his time, to recognize it after all.

Urahara continued, uninterrupted.

"Now the reason that I am showing you this is to help make the image of you wearing one of these, easier to accept."

Ichigo's eyes nearly popped out of his head as he turned towards the eccentric shopkeeper.

"Wait… are you saying, what I think you're saying?"

The older man nodded gravely.

"Yes… from all of my years as a part of the Gotei 13, and later; banishment… I have learned quite a few things about their… customs, which leads me to a rather direct conclusion."

Ichigo nodded slowly, signifying that he believed what the blonde-haired man was saying. After all, Urahara was widely considered to have quite possibly the greatest mind in the history of the Soul Society – he wasn't one to make a habit of being wrong.

Taking a deep breath, and drawing two more symbols identical to the one in the center of the page, he turned towards his companion before running a hand through his hair and speaking.

"Now… you probably already guessed this… but if my assumptions are correct; they will probably wish to promote you to one of the three empty Captain slots that make up the Gotei 13…"

Ichigo, who was still shocked at the revelation, but having already guessed that minutes previously, decided to merely nod his head silently, motioning for Urahara to continue.

"Alright… so regardless of your current decision on the matter right now; I feel it prudent to discuss the things relating to the topic at hand."

Filling in the oval on the right-hand corner of the paper with a few lines representing a '9', he spoke up once again.

"Now, in terms of the ninth division; this is the least likely one that they will choose for you to captain for. The reason for this very simply being, that you have little to no connection to that division, unlike the other two, In addition to this, they are already currently replacing that spot as we speak; which I will explain about shortly."

Ichigo nodded at this; watching as Urahara changed ovals; moving over to the one on the left-hand corner, and filling it with the symbol used to represent the number '3' captain.

"Now, in terms of pure statistics of how that division is currently doing right now, it would seem the most likely that you should be chosen. After all; their most recent replacement… didn't make it, as you well know, and as such, someone as strong as you would be an excellent choice, correct?"

Ichigo was initially going to answer with the affirmative; as he felt that it _did _seem like the most obvious choice so far. However, judging by the fact that the question was so obviously asked in a rhetorical manner; the answer wasn't exactly that clear-cut. That assumption was proven right, as Urahara continued speaking, as if he hadn't asked a question in the first place.

"However, no… that wouldn't work – one: because it simply isn't the division that they would ask you to join, and two: I believe that they will already have a replacement that should stay, on their way… Again: I will explain this after."

Ichigo's eyes steeled as he watched Urahara fill in the final captains symbol into the paper. It was only then, that he realized what division it was, that was left.

The 5th Division.

"Wait… Urahara-san- errrr I mean; Kisuke-san?"

The blonde-haired man smiled at the change in surname to first name and motioned for the substitute Shinigami to continue; although already knowing what he would be asked.

"Why would they nominate me for the 5th division of all of them? It seems a bit…"

"A bit strange… Ichigo?"

The young teenager stopped and nodded at the question; watching as the lazy shopkeeper took a deep breath and prepared to explain.

"Well… it's actually a position that fits so much that it's scary. First of all: you have contact with many people that had at one time, came from it – both of its former captains; Hirako Shinji, and Sosuke Aizen, numerous unseated officers and lieutenants, as well as both of the other wayward captains; Gin, and Tosen."

He paused to gauge the shocked expression of his ex-student, who didn't know all of that; and then continued un-interrupted.

"Secondly: it is widely considered to one of the top three strongest divisions after this whole mess. And so, they will probably want to promote you to that position to try and kiss your ass into actually not betraying them; and believe me, they will do it."

Ichigo had to try _very _hard to stifle the thought of General Yamamoto literally kissing his ass, in an attempt to win him over. The laughing fit he entered straight afterwards though; proving that he had failed.

Urahara chuckled after hearing what made the young Substitute laugh, before coughing into his hand, and continuing on.

"Thirdly, and quite possibly the most important – they have the ability to actually, legally, promote you to captains position on the grounds that you did defeat another captain in battle. Now keep in mind here, that there was no replacement for Aizen at the time of the Winter War; and, as such, with the fact that he was sealed away from some 20,000 years or so probably – they can easily count that as a defeat of the 5th division captain, even if you technically didn't kill him, and he technically wasn't actually commandeering that division during that point in time."

Ichigo blanched at that. That division _did _work out so well that it was scary. Everything pointed towards them most likely making that move.

This was when he swallowed whatever saliva he had gathered in the back of his mouth, before speaking his mind.

"Kisuke-san… what should I do then? It does seem like the most likely move for them to do to try and keep me under their thumb would be to promote me to the 5th division captain spot. But… should I do it?"

The ex-captain looked over at the defeated teenager before speaking aloud.

"Normally… I would say no, to be honest with you… However; I have been considering this whole thing quite a bit lately, and with the re-appearance of you and certain other individuals, I believe that this could very well work in our favor."

Standing up and putting his hat back on, he turned back to the still-sitting carrot-top, who looked up questioningly.

"The other individuals who will wish to claim the empty spots on the Gotei 13 will be the other remaining vizards. However… I have reason to believe that Shinji, being the kind of person that he is; will most likely want you to receive the position instead of him, for you have definitely gained his respect – that I am certain of."

Ichigo nodded slowly, however he failed to see how that was on-topic at all; waiting for the older man to continue, which he did.

"Now, having the support of all of the vizards is such a strong alliance that I don't believe that even Central 42 would honestly try to ever make any moves against you if something happened. In addition to this, many of the captains would take your side over certain others, given what you have shown them during the war… Of course then there are people like Soifon who would much rather you just die and get away from her 'Yoruichi-sama'."

They shared a chuckle at that as Ichigo got up; and waited for Urahara to finish.

"Now, that being said; the reason that you are to most likely be given the position is so that they can make sure that they have a hold on you. However, with the support of so many, not only in the Gotei 13, but also in the Vizards; I think that we have enough support here, for us to take a chance and make a statement against them… It's quite risky however… Are you prepared to do it, Ichigo?"

The orange-haired sixteen year old merely smirked in response.

"After all the shit that you've put me through; you think that I can't face the old man and 9 other century-old captains? Kisuke-san; I think that we both know what my answer to that question is."

Tilting his hat forward and grinning at the answer; the former captain of research and development motioned for Ichigo to follow him.

"Well then, I believe that we should get back and help your little Arrancar friend regain her powers once again."

Ichigo, who had long-since fallen in-step with the older man, turned and gave him a puzzled look.

"Wait, what do you mean by that? And what does Nell have to do with any of this?"

The other Shinigami merely gave another small grin before; his pace never-slowing.

"I'll explain on our way back to the shop, but for now… I think that we have a bit more to talk about."

Walking in the opposite direction of his shop, he began to explain what will go down, and why; when he is summoned back into the Seireitei, in a week's time…

**One Week Later: **

"Are you guys ready to go yet?"

Four other voices rang out in an affirmative causing him to smile in response; slamming his cane down on a strange-looking arch, prompting the opening of a Senkaimon within it.

The group of four very different people nodded to one another before setting off into it; their destination in mind:

The Seireitei.

Turning his head towards the only blonde-haired one in the room, Tessai scratched his chin thoughtfully.

"So boss… do you think that they will be alright in there?"

The man grinned slightly as he tipped his hat to cover his eyes.

"Knowing Ichigo, he'll be just fine… and even if he isn't…"

He trailed off as he looked up to the fake sky that was underneath his store.

"… Things are still going to get a lot more interesting around here."

He smirked.

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Hey guys! :D – Hope you all enjoyed the new chapter; updated slightly faster than I thought :3 (I'm about half-way done the next chappie too so yeah :3 :D)

Review Responses (Only two so far D: xD)

Mexican ninja1996 (Dippytrippy122 is writing this): Thanks for saying so! :) :D – It'll get much funnier soon, believe me XD, and true true; well, there will be a bunch of random fan-girls; he IS a complete badass protagonist after all ;) :D – hope you enjoyed this chapter too! :3 :D

XMugen-GetsugaX (choco-chibi456 is writing this ((ANDDD she is Japanese, just FWI ;) :D – Dippytrippy122)): Um, -scratches head awkwardly- Well, we dont know either... and haha thanks X3…

SOOOO yeah xD – see ya guys next time hopefully! :) – Things'll finally pick-up XD :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Bleach, in spite of the long-ass time-span that we've taken to write another chapter xD**

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**Chapter 3 – Urahara's Genius**

The trip through the Senkaimon and into Soul Society was just as eventful as it always was, with Ichigo cursing Urahara and the fact that he always seems to find a way to make his life more difficult than it needs to be. Looking forward, he took a deep breath and flicked some hair out of his eyes that his hood had pushed down, as their destination came into view; Rukia alerting the rest of the group as to their instructions.

"There is the 1st division meeting hall… I don't think that I need to tell you two to make sure that you are both on your best behaviours… do I?"

Both of the males shook their heads in response; knowing that being on their best behaviours, would definitely end up giving the best results in the long run. It was at this point that the group realized that they had arrived.

Looking up into the doors of the 1st division barracks; made them feel as if they were about to walk to their doom, and there wasn't a damn thing they could do about it. In other words:

It wasn't a good feeling.

Taking a deep gulp of air, Ichigo sighed before rubbing the back of his head in a restless manner. Turning towards the guards he spoke in a casual tone, as he lifted up his hood, if only slightly.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, along with my guests… We are here to seek an audience with the Gotei 13."

Holding their tongues at being called 'guests', Rukia and Renji nodded in agreement with what was stated, before looking sheepishly at each other. The guards gulped at the spiritual pressure that their approaching bodies emitted before nodding feverishly and opening the doors to the meeting hall.

Nodding once to each other and sending a reassuring smile each other's way, the group of friends walked through the doors and into the large captain's hall in front of them. Entering in a triangle formation, with Ichigo at the front, and Rukia and Renji flanking either side of him, the captains looked at the three with varied expressions on their faces. The general consensus however, very much appeared to be nothing more than confusion; if the fact that every one of the captains, without exception, were at least slightly interested in the fact that Ichigo was wearing a cloak, and thereby, almost completely hiding his bodily features. Narrowing his eyes, Yamamoto decided to speak out.

"Lieutenant Abarai, and Kuchiki Rukia; thank you very much for coming on such short notice… You as well, Kurosaki Ichigo, if that is indeed you? I'm afraid I cannot tell whilst you wear that cloak… May I ask that you first remove it for the rest of us?"

Rukia and Renji, whom were both still on the floor bowing, turned towards Ichigo; who, staying in his character, decided not to bow, and instead to crack his neck slightly. Sighing at his disposition, they waited to see if he would heed the head-captains request, watching as he merely stood there for a few seconds after what was said, as if deciding what it is that he should do. It didn't take him long to reach a decision, however, and with a slight nod and sigh, he removed the cloak, and placed it behind to the side of him; something fairly large apparently concealed in it. In addition to this 'lump', as it were, some unidentified sound could be heard emanating from it… However, nobody bothered in asking what the large lump could be, as everyone's attention was instantly pulled towards Ichigo and his new appearance.

The looks that he was receiving, as a result of his wardrobe change were… interesting to say the least; as were their responses. (I'll let you figure out, who said what XD)

"KUROSAKI ICHIGO? What is the meaning of this?"

"Oh my… Quite a bold statement indeed, Kurosaki-san… Very bold indeed…"

"Damn, he's gonna be even more of a lady-killer than I am; isn't that right Nanao-chan?" *smack* "Itaiiiiiiiiiii…."

"Oh what a nice specimen he has turned out to be… Far greater than I ever imagined, in fact… Oh what I wouldn't give to experiment on him; just for a bit…"

"Kurosaki Ichigo… what kind of tornado hit you and your fashion-sense? You appear even less noble than I previously thought."

"As I am, admittedly, less human-looking in comparison to most, perhaps I am not one to talk, however… I truly must ask what it is that you are wearing…?"

"*Sigh* At least now you have the looks to match your reckless attitude, Kurosaki Ichigo."

"HAHAHAHA… Who cares what ya look like, eh Ichigo? After all, you took down Aizen without breaking a sweat from what I hear, so you must be the strongest guy I know right now: perfect for a good fight."

"Ichigo-kun; I'm very glad to see you're alright… However, I do have to ask you… Why do your clothes look so… broken?"

"OH MY GOD HE'S SO FUCKING HOT!"

Everyone's chatter instantly stopped as everyone turned towards the one who made the loudest outburst. Soi-Fon instantly blushed a red so bright in response to the sudden attention that it quickly brought Renji's hair to shame in terms of sheer scale. Coughing into her hand she turned the other way and did her best to hide the blush from view; and sadly for her, to no avail.

Sensing that the meeting was going nowhere, Yamamoto silenced everyone with a good yell and sighed to himself, before turning back to the carrot-top in question.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, if you would please explain to us; first of all why you are in your Bankai form and why it looks so much… err, well, different than it normally does."

Rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly he nodded before speaking.

"Well that'll require more than just a small story on my part, including my defeat of Aizen, and my training that went up to it, if that'll be okay for me to share…?"

Yamamoto nodded, as well as a good number of the captains who were lined up; the majority smiling at the hero of the Winter War.

"Alright then… I suppose that I'll start off by saying that, this form isn't actually my Bankai… instead it's the form just beyond it."

The Captains all looked confused with the exception of the Head-Captain, Unohana, Kyōraku and Ukitake, who all looked at the boy with something akin to that of complete shock.

'It's not possible… True, his potential is incredible… But this?'

'My my, Ichigo Kurosaki, if you just keep surprising me with your delicious power, and I just might have no choice but to… take you as my own, as it were…'

'Damn… If what I said before wasn't already true enough, with the ladies… Ichigo-kun, you are one hell of a guy, I hope you know that.'

'Ichigo-kun… This is simply incredible; it feels like it was just yesterday that I had given you your Substitute Shinigami badge, and now this? Is anything impossible for you…?'

As the four oldest amongst the captains went through their inner monologues, Ichigo took out his Zanpaktou and spoke, addressing the entirety of those in the room.

"You see, there are actually three stages of release for Zanpaktou, however, very few know about this; in fact, it is apparently a heavily kept secret amongst everybody but the oldest of Soul Society, in which case, I can only assume that the four of you knew this, correct?"

The four captains in question nodded slowly, as Yamamoto narrowed his eyes, prompting Ichigo to continue speaking.

"Well… Whilst the rest shall be explained in my story, I will explain this; of the hundreds of thousands of soul reapers, only a small percentage of them will manage to achieve Shikai, and of that small percentage, an almost negligible amount will be able to get to Bankai… However, there is an even further form, which has, at least in recorded history, only ever been achieved one other time; causing it to fade into obscurity, and from all known Shinigami history books."

Narrowing his eyes as he held out his sword; he began lowering his spiritual pressure to that of the captain-commander level, causing most everyone in the room to stumble slightly, and making it so that a good number of the lieutenants began finding it hard to breathe. Cutting it off, he looked up towards Yamamoto who had his eyes widened slightly.

"You see… that was me _lowering_ my reiatsu by about half of what it actually is; just so you can all feel it… As I have now passed what coincides with what a 'normal Shinigami' is supposed to be."

Rubbing the back of his neck at the shocked expressions of everyone present, he chuckled slightly before nodding.

"I suppose that this a good time as any to start my story and explanation off then… So it all started back when Aizen took the Hougyoku from Rukia…"

For the next hour or so, Ichigo explained to the rest of the Gotei 13 what had transpired that led to his sudden rush in power, leaving little to no details out and making sure to include as many details of the fight as possible.

It was in the stunned silence that followed, in which Yamamoto decided to intervene and speak.

"Very well… I suppose that your story does match up with the results of what happened that day, and it does also explain your current power level…In addition, I have already heard from Lieutenant Matsumoto, that you and your father…helped to save Gin Ichimaru's life and he is currently being cared for at your clinic. Do you accept the fact that he will be tried in Soul Society once he is back to full health?"

Ichigo nodded slowly. He truly did not wish for Gin to be tried too hard, and hoped that Central 46 would be lenient with him in the future…

He stopped to think about it and hung his head again, as a single thought flew into his head.

They probably wouldn't be lenient on him… would they?

A voice quickly interrupted his thoughts.

"Kurosaki Ichigo… Not to, uh, deviate off topic as it were, but I feel that this is an excellent time for me to tell you of a proposition that I have been considering ever since the end of the Winter War…"

Inwardly, Ichigo knew exactly what was coming, and was preparing himself for the decision that he would have to make, and the risky moves that could come because of it. Feigning ignorance, however, he nodded slowly; with a puzzled expression on his face.

Taking this as a sign to continue, Yamamoto stood up and slammed his cane down on the ground; showing that what he was about to say would be of great importance.

"Alright then, I suppose that I shall get right down to it then? Kurosaki Ichigo, on behalf of the Gotei 13, I would like to present you with the opportunity of becoming Captain of Squad 5."

A stunned silence followed as most everyone present within the meeting hall; had their mouths to the floor in shock, at the abrupt request. All at once, following this announcement; an uproar occurred which was quickly and effectively silenced by Yamamoto and his cane. Speaking again, he turned and directly addressed said ex-Ryoka.

"If the notion gets passed… Would you accept the position and become a member of the Gotei 13; to the highest degree of Captain of Squad 5?"

Taking a deep breath and steeling himself, Ichigo closed his eyes. He knew that considering Urahara told him that he was pretty much already guaranteed the spot as a captain; that what he said right now would matter more than pretty much anything that would happen after wards… And he knew what he had to do.

"Yes… Yes I will take the position, if it is made available for me."

Nodding towards the substitute Shinigami, he ignored the shocked looks of the rest of those present and spoke out.

"I must admit, in preparation for this day, I had hoped that Central 46 would automatically give the position away considering that you technically defeated Sosuke Aizen in battle… However, given the fact that it was not observed by at least 200 people from the squad in question, and not in proper dueling conditions… this loophole could not be breached, meaning that we will have to go with the default way; of voting."

… Wait what?

Ichigo broke out into a cold sweat as soon as those words reached his ears. Could Urahara Kisuke have truly miscalculated? It seemed absurd… But yet, considering the fact that the loophole he had been banking so much on was not able to be used, it gave room for concern. He hung his head low as he listened to the Head-Captain continue explaining how the voting would work; the thoughts of what could happen if the voting goes wrong, spinning in his mind.

"Whilst in most cases, we would take the agreement of at least 6 captains, and the approval of 3 others; but with only 9 other captains, aside from myself, currently appointed here, I believe that cutting the numbers down to 5 and 2 each is acceptable… and so… Would anybody here agree to approving Kurosaki Ichigo as the next captain of Squad 5?"

He let the question hang in the air as no one said a word. A sigh emanating from across the room, alerted him to another voice deciding to speak up.

"Well… Kurosaki Ichigo, I suppose that if anyone is to fill the position of that Squad, following its rather bleak history… it would be a crime for it to be anybody but you in a way…"

The captain in question smirked slightly before continuing.

"I guess that if this passes, you will no longer need to call me Hitsugaya-taicho anymore, despite the fact, that you never really called me that in the first place anyway, I suppose."

Yamamoto looked up towards the 10th division captain.

"Does this mean that you accept the notion, Hitsugaya-taicho?"

A nod and a smile was the only response that he received to his question causing him to nod back and await a further nomination, which didn't take long.

"Eh, I suppose that if you become captain, it'll just mean that we can have our next battle sooner, right, Ichigo?"

The 11th division captain grinned as he finished.

"Hey, old man; you can count my vote as a yes as well."

The 'old man' grunted before nodding; watching as the carrot-top in question chuckled at both of the previous captains nominations. Another voice soon shot up out of the silence and brought everyone's attention to its owner.

"Kurosaki Ichigo… You have done many things for not only the Soul Society, and Human World both as a whole, but for me, and Rukia; helping me to see that laws aren't as important as the people having to follow them…"

The Kuchiki clan leader paused for a second, as everyone stared at him in anticipation.

"I truly don't feel that anyone could ever fill the 5th Division spot quite as well as you could, Kuro- Ichigo… And as such, you have my support, as well as the whole of the Kuchiki clan's support for any future endeavors you may have. Head-captain, if you would please count my vote…?"

Everyone stood shocked at Byakuya's words, before Ichigo smiled lightly at the normally stoic captain and told him 'thank you', causing Rukia to smile brightly at the two of them; happy that her brother, if only for the moment, had left his naturally detached self into a more human version.

Nodding towards the 6th division captain, Yamamoto sighed as the silence settled in once more. A full minute of nothing settled in which clued the head-captain into realizing that no one was going to speak. He looked down in regret for not having the motion carried; raising his cane to end the voting process, just before a voice stopped him from doing so.

"Hold on there, Yama-jii… I still haven't given my lil' speech now have I?"

The aged commander turned towards one of his oldest students, and was slightly surprised to see Kyōraku, smiling lightly with his hat tipped down.

"Well… like I probably implied with my little interruption just now… I truly believe this kid has got more than everything it takes to be captain… I mean hell, he has enough power in him right now to probably take most all of us on in combat without getting beaten too badly… And I'd rather not have him as an enemy in the future."

He stopped to look at the Substitute Soul Reaper in question before grinning.

"And also, you seem like someone who I could potentially get along with quite well, and so I'm all for your promotion to captain… Jiji; please add my vote to the others."

Yamamoto nodded and smiled lightly at his former student before narrowing his eyes slightly in thought.

'_Just one more recommendation and two more approval's to go… But I really have no idea who else would-'_

"Genryuusai sensei? If you would please forgive me for my late vote, but _Kyōraku_ here, wouldn't let me vote until he did so… Of course he waited until the last possible second before voting, almost making Ichigo-kun lose his chance to become a captain altogether…"

He shot his friend a mock glare who just glared sheepishly in response, before getting smacked over the back of his head by his lieutenant. Ukitake just sighed in response before continuing; a determined look on his face.

"I think that I speak for everyone in this room, who will admit, whether begrudgingly, or otherwise; the amount of incredible help that he has been over the years for us… And, just like the four before me, I am hard pressed to ever find someone, who not only is as capable to be a captain as Ichigo-kun here, but especially for the division in question…"

He stopped to turn towards the Shinigami-Hollow hybrid, and smile.

"That is why, I am easily able to vote; for someone who is strong, kind, and generally well received by, I feel, most everybody here."

Yamamoto stopped for a second, and then smiled once again; as both of his former pupils showed him once again, just why he was so proud to have been their teacher.

Standing up he slammed his cane against the ground.

"Now then; as five votes have been cast, we need at least two other captains to give their approval for the notion-"

"I approve Kurosaki Ichigo to be Captain of the 5th division. As someone who is clearly loved by many, and someone who managed to subdue the one who had taken Kaname's eyes away from the path of justice… I can't recommend him for the position as I am unsure if he is ready, however, since that part is finished, I can give my approval for the kind of person that he is; Head-Captain, please note this down."

The Captain-Commander nodded at the Wolf-Faced captain, and sighed slightly. Just one more vote; just one more-

"I also give my approval for Kurosaki Ichigo to take the Captain's seat of Squad 5."

Everyone in the room, turned towards Unohana as she smiled sweetly at the to-be-captain.

"I am in much the same opinion as Komamura here; whilst I am unsure if he is truly ready for the position, I cannot deny all that he has done for us, his power level, and his compassion that he has for everyone around him… In addition, even though she hasn't said anything: I am pretty sure that Captain Soi-Fon over here was ready to give both a vote and recommendation for him, if she wasn't so Tsundere."

She winked over at the petite 2nd division captain who had finally stopped blushing; beginning once again, to do the exact same thing.

"I-I wasn't going to do anything like that! B-baka!"

Yamamoto chuckled at the captain's antics before slamming his cane down.

"Very well! From this moment on, Ichigo Kurosaki will be the new 5th division captain of the Gotei 13; congratulations!"

It was amidst the buzz of excitement, cheer and clapping that occurred during this time that a certain arrancar jumped out from underneath the cloak that Ichigo had discarded.

Everyone stared at it as Ichigo slapped his face; _hard _as he realized just how much shit he was in now.

It was at this point that Nel realized that she had jumped out and revealed herself; perhaps a bit earlier than what she was intended to do. Rubbing the back of her head sheepishly, she looked towards Ichigo with an expectant look on her face, oblivious to the various shocked expressions that adorned many of the captains.

Ichigo couldn't do anything else but sigh.

'_Why me…?'_

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**A/N: Uhhhhh hey guys…. WE'RE ALIVE :')… A couple months late but alive nonetheless XD. Ok look, I have no excuse; I was super lazy and not wanting to write for the longest time… Now that I have though, I have the plot lines for the next couple chapters up and running and I know what I'm gonna write, at least for the next few chappies, which I should be able to do over the summer :), so yeah… thanks for bearing with us guys XD – Dippytrippy122**

**Oh btw: as a short-story, side-project thing, I decided to write another cracky type thing featuring Aizen and Gin as the main characters, and is basially just showing them going through the canon story-line through their eyes; with different twists X3 (Check out the story, 'Aizen's Great Escape' on our FF profile! :)**

**ANNDDDDDDD Extra Btw: The design and creation of the cover art for this story goes to my partner in crime :3, ChocoChibi so congratulate her on the great work in making it. :3 :)**

**Anyways… onto the Reviewer Responses:**

**Guest – Yep xD, we'll see if we can get on that :DD**

**Mexican ninja1996 – Hey again mate X3, uhhh well we are currently debating that… so far, just the two in the description, but hey, who knows? :D**

**InfinitelyRandom – Hey thanks man :D… It's not quite as low anymore xD but still… Its more the laziness factor X3, we're back for a while though at least :D**

**SSj3 Kyubbi Gohan – Thanks so much mate :'), and your stories look pree awesome too ;) :D (Btw I love your name :3 –chocochibi456)**

**Marshslam – Thanks! :D, I try :')… Nice confidence booster X3**

**Icebarrierguy – Thanks for the double review dude, you had me laughing XD, needless to say, a future omake featuring your banana idea will come to fruition XD (Oh Dippy, u so punny X3 –chocochibi456)**

**Guest – Yep, not gonna spoil anything; but it'll be very soon (I LOVE HER :') :D)**

**Gacasm – Oh shite, XD guess we both missed that – I rectified in this chapter though because of your review so thanks mate :') and thanks for the follow too – 'preciate it :3 (Btw: he knows xD, I know him in real life, and hes just screwing around XD)**

**IchiIchi – Thanks :D, I'm hella happy you enjoy it so far X3 :D**

**Peach77 – Thanks :3, fluff and the like coming up soon :')**

**Zanthraxone – Thanks a lot mate :D, Hopefully it'll live up XD, it'll mostly be stupidity, but hey, there will be some plot somewhat X3 so yeah :3**

**Long-ass thing right there, but yeah… Thanks so much for reviewing you guys, we really appreciate it more than you know :), and we'll always respond like this to them every chapter; that much is a promise, even if our chapter update schedule isn't… XD**

**Anyways please review, follow, favorite and enjoy! :D**

**Dippytrippy122**


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